Defending the Faith 7
Opening Prayer
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Lord Jesus Christ,
You came not to condemn the world,
but that the world might be saved through You.
You know our sins, our wounds, and our weakness.
Give us trust in Your mercy,
true sorrow for our sins,
and courage to return to You in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Amen.
In our first session, we asked:
Why be Catholic?
And we said that Catholic faith begins with Jesus Christ. We are Catholic because Jesus is Lord, because He founded a Church, and because in that Church He gives us His truth, His mercy, and His Body and Blood.
In our second session, we asked:
Did Jesus really found the Church?
And we saw that the Church is not a human invention added on later. Jesus gathered disciples, chose the Twelve, gave authority, gave Peter the keys, commanded the Apostles to teach and baptise, gave the Eucharist, gave the power to forgive sins, promised to remain with His Church, and sent the Holy Spirit.
In our third session, we asked:
Is the Bible enough?
And we saw that Catholics love the Bible as the inspired Word of God, but we do not separate Scripture from the Church, Sacred Tradition, and the apostolic faith in which the Bible was received and handed on.
In our fourth session, we asked:
Who has authority in the Church?
And we saw that all authority in the Church belongs first to Jesus Christ. The Church’s authority comes from Him, stands under Him, and exists to keep us faithful to Him.
In our fifth session, we asked:
Why do Catholics go to Mass every Sunday?
And we saw that Sunday Mass is not an optional extra. It is the heart of Catholic life, because there Christ gathers, teaches, offers, and feeds His Church.
In our sixth session, we asked:
Is the Eucharist really Jesus?
And we saw that the Eucharist is not merely a symbol. The Eucharist is truly Jesus Christ: Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, given to us as the Bread of Life.
In this session we come to another question Catholics are often asked:
Why confess sins to a priest?
Many people ask this.
They say:
“Why can’t I just tell God I am sorry?”
Or:
“Why does a priest need to know my sins?”
Or:
“Isn’t Confession embarrassing?”
Or:
“Surely God forgives me directly.”
Or:
“I am not a bad person.”
Or:
“I would not know what to say.”
Some of these questions come from misunderstanding. Some come from fear. Some come from painful experiences. Some come from not having been taught clearly.
So we need to speak calmly about Confession.
Not as a burden.
Not as humiliation.
Not as Catholic guilt.
But as mercy.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation is one of the most beautiful gifts Christ has given His Church.
In Confession, Christ forgives sins.
Christ heals wounds.
Christ restores grace.
Christ lifts burdens.
Christ reconciles us to God and to the Church.
Christ gives peace.
That is why Catholics confess sins to a priest.
Not because God is reluctant to forgive.
Not because the priest is better than us.
Not because the Church wants to shame us.
But because Jesus Christ has given His Church a sacrament of mercy.
1. We need to begin with sin
To understand Confession, we must first understand sin.
Many people today do not like the word “sin”.
It sounds harsh.
It sounds negative.
It sounds judgemental.
So people prefer other words.
Mistake.
Weakness.
Brokenness.
Regret.
Bad choice.
And of course, sometimes those words are true. We are weak. We are wounded. We do make mistakes. We do carry regrets.
But sin is more than a mistake.
Sin is a refusal of God’s love.
Sin is choosing against God, against truth, against charity, against the good for which we were made.
Sin damages our relationship with God.
It damages our relationship with others.
It damages the Church.
It damages the sinner.
Sin is not simply breaking an arbitrary rule.
Sin is a wound in love.
This matters because if we minimise sin, we will also minimise mercy.
If sin is only a small mistake, then forgiveness becomes only reassurance.
But if sin is truly a wound in our relationship with God, then forgiveness is a miracle of grace.
The Gospel does not say:
“You are fine as you are.”
The Gospel says:
“You are loved, wounded, called, forgiven, and made new.”
That is far better.
Jesus came not merely to improve us, but to save us.
And to be saved, we must be honest about sin.
Not crushed by it.
Not obsessed with it.
Not despairing.
But honest.
Because Christ cannot heal the wound we refuse to show Him.
2. Jesus came to forgive sins
The heart of the Gospel is mercy.
Jesus came to call sinners.
He ate with sinners.
He forgave sinners.
He touched the unclean.
He restored the fallen.
He sought the lost.
He told the parable of the prodigal son.
He told of the shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to seek the one lost sheep.
He said there is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents.
Again and again, the Gospel shows us that Jesus does not delight in condemnation.
He delights in mercy.
But His mercy is not sentimental.
He does not say sin does not matter.
He does not say repentance is unnecessary.
He does not say, “Stay as you are.”
To the woman caught in adultery, He says:
“Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
That is mercy and conversion together.
Jesus forgives so that we can be free.
This is important.
Confession is not about being trapped in guilt.
It is about being set free from guilt.
It is not about remaining in shame.
It is about being restored to grace.
It is not about a priest dwelling on our sins.
It is about Christ taking them away.
The question is not:
“Does God want to forgive?”
The question is:
“Will I come to Him honestly and receive His mercy?”
3. Jesus gave the Church authority to forgive sins
Some people say:
“Only God can forgive sins.”
That is true.
Only God can forgive sins.
But the same God can choose to forgive through the ministry of His Church.
After the Resurrection, Jesus appeared to the Apostles and said:
“Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.”
Then He breathed on them and said:
“Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”
That is one of the clearest foundations of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Jesus does not merely tell the Apostles to announce forgiveness in a general way.
He gives them authority to forgive sins.
This authority does not come from the priest.
It comes from Christ.
The priest does not forgive sins by his own power.
The priest is an instrument.
Christ forgives.
When the priest says the words of absolution, Christ acts through His Church.
This is why Confession is not merely talking to a religious counsellor.
It is a sacrament.
It is an encounter with Christ’s mercy.
A priest may be ordinary.
He may be tired.
He may be unimpressive.
He may be personally in need of mercy himself.
But the sacrament does not depend on his impressiveness.
It depends on Christ’s promise.
That is deeply consoling.
When you hear the words:
“I absolve you from your sins,”
you do not have to wonder:
“Did God really forgive me?”
You can know.
Because Christ has given a visible sacrament of forgiveness.
4. Why confess out loud?
Another question is:
“Why do I have to say my sins?”
This is understandable.
Confession can feel embarrassing.
But speaking the truth matters.
Sin often hides in silence.
It grows in secrecy.
It becomes vague, excused, minimised, or denied.
When we confess out loud, we stop hiding.
We stand before God in truth.
We say:
“This is what I have done.”
“This is where I have failed.”
“This is where I need mercy.”
That honesty is already healing.
Think of a wound.
If a wound is hidden and ignored, it festers.
If it is brought into the light, it can be cleaned and healed.
Confession brings the wound into the light of Christ.
Of course, God already knows our sins.
We are not giving Him information.
But we are giving Him access.
We are allowing the truth to be named, judged, forgiven, and healed.
There is also great freedom in hearing absolution.
If I only confess privately in my own mind, I may still wonder:
“Was I really forgiven?”
“Was I sorry enough?”
“Did I just excuse myself?”
But in the sacrament, Christ gives us a word outside ourselves.
The priest says:
“I absolve you.”
That word is a gift.
It is not my feeling.
It is not my guess.
It is not my self-reassurance.
It is Christ’s mercy spoken to me.
5. Mortal and venial sin
To understand Confession, we also need to understand the difference between mortal and venial sin.
Not every sin is equally grave.
All sin is wrong, but not all sin damages our relationship with God in the same way.
Venial sin wounds charity.
It weakens us.
It damages our love.
It makes us less free, less generous, less attentive to God.
Venial sin is real, and we should not be casual about it. But it does not destroy the life of grace in the soul.
Mortal sin is different.
Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart.
It cuts us off from sanctifying grace.
But we must understand this properly.
Mortal sin is not God trying to catch us out.
It is not God waiting for one mistake so that He can reject us.
It is not a trap.
God is not petty, cruel, or eager to condemn.
Mortal sin is serious because it is a free and grave rejection of God’s love.
It is as if the soul says to God:
“I do not want Your grace to rule in me here. I choose this instead of You.”
In mortal sin, we are not dealing with God being unwilling to love us. God still loves us. God still calls us. God still seeks us. God still wants us to return.
The problem is that we have freely turned away from the life of grace.
We have told God, by our action, that we do not want His friendship on His terms.
That is why mortal sin is so serious.
For a sin to be mortal, three things are needed:
The matter must be grave.
The person must know it is gravely wrong.
The person must freely choose it.
Grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent.
If one of those is missing, personal responsibility may be reduced.
That is important pastorally.
The Church is not trying to terrify tender consciences.
She is not saying that every weakness, every struggle, every intrusive thought, every habit, every emotional reaction, or every failure under pressure is automatically mortal sin.
Mortal sin involves a grave matter, known as grave, and freely chosen.
But neither does the Church pretend that grave sin is harmless.
If we are conscious of mortal sin, we must not receive Holy Communion until we have gone to Confession.
Why?
Because Communion means communion.
To receive Holy Communion while knowingly separated from God by grave sin is a contradiction.
It says with the body, “Amen, I am in communion,” while the soul is refusing that communion.
Confession restores us.
This is not exclusion for the sake of exclusion.
It is mercy for the sake of true communion.
God does not want to keep sinners away.
He wants to bring sinners home.
Venial sins can be forgiven in many ways: by prayer, acts of charity, penitence, and especially by devout participation in Mass.
But it is still good to confess venial sins.
Regular Confession helps us grow in humility, self-knowledge, and holiness.
So Catholics should not see Confession only as an emergency room for disasters.
It is also medicine for ongoing conversion.
We should also understand sorrow for sin. Sometimes sorrow comes from love of God above all things: we are sorry because we have offended the Lord who loves us. This is called perfect contrition. Sometimes sorrow begins in a more imperfect way: fear of hell, fear of consequences, shame, or the ugliness of sin. That is called imperfect contrition.
Imperfect contrition is not useless. It can still be the beginning of grace, especially when it brings us to Confession. God often begins with us where we are and leads us deeper. The important thing is not to wait until our sorrow feels perfect, but to come honestly and ask for mercy.
Some people struggle with scrupulosity: a painful anxiety that sees sin everywhere and struggles to trust God’s mercy. Such a person should not keep analysing alone. They should speak to one regular confessor and follow his guidance. Confession is meant to bring peace, not endless fear.
6. Confession is not humiliation
Many people fear Confession because they imagine it as humiliation.
They think the priest will be shocked.
He will not.
They think he will remember everything.
He usually will not.
They think he will think less of them.
A good priest will not.
A priest hears Confession not to judge with contempt, but to serve mercy.
In Confession, the priest is not there as a curious listener.
He is there as a minister of Christ.
He is bound by the seal of Confession.
That means he may never reveal what is confessed.
Never.
Not to another priest.
Not to the bishop.
Not to the police.
Not to the person’s family.
Not even indirectly.
The seal protects the penitent.
It allows sinners to come before God with complete honesty and trust.
That is one of the Church’s most serious obligations.
So Confession is not a place of gossip, exposure, or public shame.
It is a sacred encounter with mercy.
And often the hardest part is not what the priest thinks.
The hardest part is our own pride.
It is humbling to say:
“I have sinned.”
But humility is not humiliation.
Humiliation crushes.
Humility frees.
Confession teaches us to stop pretending.
And once we stop pretending, grace can begin again.
7. What happens in Confession?
Many people are nervous because they do not know what to do.
So let us keep it simple.
Before Confession, we examine our conscience.
We ask the Holy Spirit to show us our sins.
We think honestly about our life: our relationship with God, our family, our work, our words, our thoughts, our actions, our omissions.
Then we come to the priest.
We begin:
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been…” and we say roughly how long it has been since our last Confession.
Then we confess our sins simply and honestly.
No speeches.
No excuses.
No blaming everyone else.
No unnecessary detail.
Just the truth.
For mortal sins, we confess the kind of sin and, as best we can, the number or frequency.
Then the priest may offer counsel.
He gives a penance.
The penance is not a payment for forgiveness.
Christ has paid the price.
The penance is a small act of prayer, sacrifice, or charity that helps us begin again and repair what sin has damaged.
Then we make an Act of Contrition.
We express sorrow for sin and the intention, with God’s help, to avoid sin in future.
Part of Confession is the intention to turn away from sin. This does not mean we promise that we will never be tempted again, or that we already feel strong. It means that, with God’s help, we do not want to choose the sin again, and we are willing to take reasonable steps away from it.
Confession is not invalid because we are weak. But we must not come intending to continue sin without repentance.
Then the priest gives absolution.
This is the heart of the sacrament.
Christ forgives.
The burden is lifted.
The soul is restored.
Grace is given.
Then we go and do the penance as soon as reasonably possible.
That is Confession.
Simple.
Honest.
Merciful.
Healing.
So a simple preparation is enough: ask the Holy Spirit for light, examine your conscience, be sorry for your sins, decide to avoid sin with God’s help, confess honestly, receive absolution, and do your penance.
8. What if I do not know what to say?
If you have been away from Confession for a long time, do not be afraid.
You can begin very simply:
“Father, I have not been to Confession for many years, and I am not sure what to do.”
A priest will help you.
That is part of his ministry.
You do not need perfect words.
You do not need to remember every detail of your life.
You need honesty, sorrow, and a willingness to begin again.
If you are nervous, you can write your sins down beforehand and destroy the paper afterwards.
You can use an examination of conscience.
You can ask the priest to guide you through the prayers.
You can say:
“I am sorry, but I do not remember the Act of Contrition.”
That is fine.
The sacrament is not a test of memory.
It is an encounter with mercy.
What matters is that we come sincerely.
The devil wants people to think Confession is impossible, humiliating, or only for saints.
But Confession is for sinners.
That means it is for us.
9. Why regular Confession matters
Some people go to Confession only when something very serious happens.
That is better than not going at all.
But regular Confession is a great help in the Christian life.
Why?
Because sin makes us blind.
We easily excuse ourselves.
We notice other people’s faults more quickly than our own.
We repeat patterns.
We become comfortable with small compromises.
Regular Confession helps us see.
It helps us name our sins.
It helps us receive grace.
It helps us fight temptation.
It helps us grow in humility.
It helps us prepare for Holy Communion.
It helps us live in peace.
A person who goes to Confession regularly begins to know the movements of the heart more clearly.
Not in a scrupulous way.
Not obsessively.
But honestly.
Confession is like spiritual housekeeping.
If we never clean a room, dust gathers.
If we never examine the soul, sins and habits gather unnoticed.
Regular Confession clears the heart.
It does not make us gloomy.
It makes us freer.
For many Catholics, monthly Confession is a very good rhythm.
For some, more often may help.
For others beginning again, simply returning after many years is already a great grace.
The point is not to count achievements.
The point is to remain close to mercy.
10. Confession and healing
Confession forgives sins.
That is its primary purpose.
But it also heals.
Sin wounds the soul.
It wounds memory.
It wounds trust.
It wounds relationships.
It wounds our sense of who we are.
In Confession, Christ not only removes guilt.
He begins to heal the damage sin causes.
Sometimes that healing is immediate.
Sometimes it is gradual.
Sometimes we confess the same sins repeatedly and feel discouraged.
But repeated struggle does not mean Confession is useless.
A person who repeatedly falls and repeatedly returns to Christ is still being held by grace.
The sacrament gives strength.
It weakens the power of sin.
It teaches humility.
It keeps us from despair.
Of course, Confession does not replace everything else that may be needed.
Some wounds also need counselling, support, accountability, practical change, or safeguarding action.
If someone is trapped in addiction, abuse, serious harm, or destructive patterns, they may need help beyond the confessional as well.
Confession is not the same as therapy or counselling. Its first purpose is sacramental: the forgiveness of sins and restoration of grace. But because grace touches the whole person, Confession can also bring deep peace and healing. We should not confuse the sacrament with therapy, but neither should we underestimate the healing Christ gives through it.
Confession gives what only Christ can give sacramentally:
forgiveness of sins and restoration to grace.
That is the heart.
11. How to answer this simply
So if someone asks:
“Why confess to a priest?”
You might say:
“Because Jesus gave the Apostles authority to forgive sins, and in Confession Christ forgives us through the ministry of the Church.”
Or:
“I can and should tell God I am sorry, but Christ also gave us a sacrament where we can hear His forgiveness spoken clearly: ‘I absolve you.’”
Or:
“Confession is not about humiliation. It is about mercy, honesty, healing, and beginning again.”
If someone says:
“Only God can forgive sins,”
you can say:
“Yes, only God can forgive sins. But God can choose to forgive through the sacrament He gave His Church.”
If someone says:
“The priest is a sinner too,”
you can say:
“Yes, he is. The priest also needs Confession. But Christ works through the priest as His instrument.”
If someone says:
“I am too ashamed,”
you can say:
“Shame keeps us hiding. Christ invites us into mercy. The priest is not there to condemn you but to help you receive forgiveness.”
Simple answers are often best.
Speak about Confession as mercy, not as mere rule.
12. What this asks of us
If Confession is truly a sacrament of mercy, then we should not neglect it.
We should examine our conscience.
We should be honest about sin.
We should stop making excuses.
We should not receive Holy Communion if we are conscious of grave sin.
We should return to Confession when needed.
We should teach children not to fear the sacrament.
We should speak about Confession with hope.
We should encourage those who have been away to come home.
We should never use Confession to shame people.
And when we leave Confession, we should try to live differently.
Forgiveness is not permission to continue sinning.
Mercy calls us to conversion.
After absolution, Christ says to us in effect:
“Go in peace.”
But also:
“Sin no more.”
So each of us should ask:
When was my last Confession?
Am I carrying sins Christ wants to forgive?
Am I avoiding Confession because of pride, fear, or embarrassment?
Do I really believe Christ’s mercy is greater than my sin?
Do I prepare properly before receiving Holy Communion?
Do I allow Confession to help me become holy?
The sacrament is there.
The door is open.
The Father is waiting.
The Son has paid the price.
The Holy Spirit gives us courage to return.
So why stay away?
Conclusion
So why confess sins to a priest?
Because Jesus Christ gave His Church authority to forgive sins.
Because sin is real.
Because mercy is real.
Because we need more than vague reassurance.
Because we need to hear Christ’s forgiveness spoken to us.
Because Confession restores grace.
Because Confession reconciles us to God and the Church.
Because Confession heals the soul.
Because Confession prepares us to receive Holy Communion worthily.
Because Confession teaches humility and gives peace.
The priest does not forgive by his own power.
Christ forgives through the priest.
The confessional is not a courtroom of despair.
It is a tribunal of mercy.
It is not a place where sinners are crushed.
It is a place where sinners are raised up.
So we do not say:
“I am too sinful to go.”
We say:
“Because I am a sinner, I need mercy.”
We do not say:
“I will come when I am better.”
We say:
“Lord, heal me and make me better.”
We do not say:
“I am ashamed, so I will hide.”
We say:
“Jesus, I trust in Your mercy.”
Remember these three simple answers.
Why confess sins to a priest?
Because Jesus gave His Church authority to forgive sins.
Because Confession lets us name our sins honestly and hear Christ’s forgiveness clearly.
Because the sacrament restores, heals, and strengthens us.
If you remember nothing else, remember this:
Confession is not humiliation. It is Christ’s mercy meeting us in truth, forgiving our sins, and helping us begin again.
Each of us should ask:
What is stopping me from going to Confession?
Is it fear?
Is it shame?
Is it pride?
Is it the feeling that my sins are too great?
Is it the thought that I can manage without the sacrament Christ has given?
Christ’s mercy is not far away.
It is waiting for us in the sacrament He gave His Church.
Q&A after Session 7
- Why do Catholics confess sins to a priest?
- Can I just tell God I am sorry privately?
- What is the difference between mortal and venial sin?
- What if I have forgotten how to go to Confession?
- What if I am ashamed or afraid?
- Why should I go to Confession regularly?
- What should I do if I am conscious of grave sin before Communion?
- How can Confession help me grow in holiness?
Closing prayer
Lord Jesus Christ,
You came to seek and save the lost.
Give us honest hearts,
true sorrow for our sins,
and deep trust in Your mercy.
Bring back those who have been away from Confession.
Heal those who are afraid.
Strengthen those who are ashamed.
Help us to confess our sins humbly,
receive absolution gratefully,
and begin again with peace.
Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
St. Mary's, St. John Bosco and St. Edward's 