Defend the Faith — Session 13
Opening Prayer
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Lord Jesus Christ,
teach us to pray.
When we are joyful, teach us gratitude.
When we are afraid, teach us trust.
When we are suffering, teach us honesty.
When You seem silent, teach us faith.
Draw us into Your own prayer to the Father,
in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
In this series, we have been asking some of the questions Catholics are often asked.
Why be Catholic?
Did Jesus really found the Church?
Is the Bible enough?
Who has authority in the Church?
Why do Catholics go to Mass every Sunday?
Is the Eucharist really Jesus?
Why confess sins to a priest?
Why baptise babies?
Why do Catholics honour Mary and the saints?
Why does the Church teach difficult moral truths?
Why is there suffering if God is good?
What happens after death?
After speaking about suffering and death, it is natural to ask:
Why does prayer matter?
Because when people suffer, they often pray.
When someone is dying, people pray.
When someone we love is ill, we pray.
When life feels uncertain, we pray.
When we are afraid, we pray.
But then another question comes:
Does prayer do anything?
If God already knows everything, why tell Him?
If God is good, why do we need to ask Him?
If God is going to do His will anyway, why pray?
If I prayed and nothing changed, was my prayer wasted?
If God seems silent, is He listening?
These are real questions.
Many people have prayed sincerely and still suffered.
Many people have begged God for healing and still lost someone they loved.
Many people have asked for help and felt only silence.
So we must not speak about prayer cheaply.
Prayer is not magic.
Prayer is not controlling God.
Prayer is not putting coins into a spiritual machine.
Prayer is not a way of forcing heaven to obey us.
Prayer is something deeper.
Prayer is living before God.
It is the heart turning to the Father, through the Son, in the Holy Spirit.
It is speaking to God, listening to God, trusting God, struggling before God, asking God, thanking God, repenting before God, and resting in God.
Prayer does not begin because God is absent.
Prayer begins because God is near.
1. Prayer begins with God, not with us
The first thing to understand is this:
Prayer begins with God.
We often think prayer starts when we decide to speak to God.
But before we ever seek God, God is seeking us.
Before we call Him Father, He has already loved us.
Before we ask for mercy, He has already offered mercy.
Before we notice Him, He has already been present.
Prayer is our response to the God who first calls us.
That changes everything.
Prayer is not trying to get the attention of a distant God.
It is answering the God who is already close.
A child does not create a father by speaking to him.
The child speaks because the father is already there.
In the same way, Christians pray not to make God present, but because God is present.
This is why prayer is possible even when we feel nothing.
God’s nearness does not depend on our feelings.
He is not closer when we feel warm and far away when we feel dry.
He is faithful.
Prayer is an act of faith in that faithfulness.
Sometimes we feel consolation.
Sometimes we feel nothing.
Sometimes we feel distracted, tired, or empty.
But prayer is not proved by emotion.
Prayer is the soul turning towards God.
Even a very simple prayer can be real:
“Lord, help me.”
“Lord, have mercy.”
“Jesus, I trust in You.”
“Father, into Your hands.”
“Come, Holy Spirit.”
Such prayers may be small, but they are not insignificant.
They are the beginning of relationship.
2. Prayer is not informing God
One common objection is:
“If God knows everything, why pray?”
That is a fair question.
God does know everything.
He knows our needs before we ask.
He knows our suffering.
He knows our sins.
He knows our hopes.
He knows what we cannot even put into words.
So prayer is not informing God of something He did not know.
Prayer is not giving God news.
Prayer is not explaining the situation to Him as though He had missed something.
Then why pray?
Because prayer is not only about information.
It is about relationship.
A child may tell a parent something the parent already knows.
That does not make the speaking pointless.
The speaking matters because love matters.
Trust matters.
Closeness matters.
A friend may say, “I am struggling,” even if the other already sensed it.
A husband or wife may say, “I love you,” though the words have been said before.
The words matter because relationship matters.
So it is with God.
God does not need our words because He lacks knowledge.
We need prayer because we were made for communion with Him.
Prayer opens the heart.
Prayer teaches dependence.
Prayer makes room for grace.
Prayer brings our fears, sins, hopes, griefs, and desires into the light of God.
The question is not:
“Does God know?”
Of course He knows.
The question is:
“Will I bring this to Him?”
3. Jesus prayed
This is one of the simplest and strongest reasons to pray.
Jesus prayed.
The Son of God, made man, prayed.
He prayed in the synagogue.
He prayed in solitude.
He prayed before choosing the Twelve.
He prayed before miracles.
He prayed with thanksgiving.
He prayed in agony.
He prayed from the Cross.
He prayed the Psalms.
He taught His disciples to pray.
If prayer were unnecessary, Jesus would not have prayed.
If prayer were weakness, Jesus would not have prayed.
If prayer were a waste of time, Jesus would not have prayed.
The prayer of Jesus shows us what human life is meant to be: life turned towards the Father.
In Gethsemane, Jesus prays with complete honesty.
He does not pretend.
He says:
“My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.”
That is real prayer.
He brings His anguish to the Father.
But He also says:
“Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
That too is real prayer.
Prayer is not pretending we have no desires.
Prayer is bringing our desires before God and learning to trust His will.
This is very important.
A Christian may pray:
“Lord, heal me.”
“Lord, save my loved one.”
“Lord, take this suffering away.”
“Lord, help me.”
Those are good prayers.
But Christian prayer also learns to say:
“Father, Your will be done.”
Not because God’s will is cruel.
Not because our suffering does not matter.
But because the Father is trustworthy, even when we do not understand.
Jesus shows us that prayer can be honest and obedient at the same time.
4. Prayer changes us
Sometimes people ask:
“Does prayer change God’s mind?”
That question can be complicated.
God is eternal.
God is not changeable like us.
He is not moody.
He is not manipulated.
He is not persuaded by pressure.
But Scripture also shows that God wants us to ask, seek, knock, intercede, repent, plead, and persevere.
So we should not reduce prayer to a puzzle.
The first thing to say is this:
Prayer changes us.
It changes how we see.
It changes what we desire.
It changes what we fear.
It changes what we love.
It changes how we carry suffering.
It changes how we treat others.
It changes how we face death.
A person who prays begins to see life before God.
Resentment can soften.
Pride can be humbled.
Fear can be entrusted.
Sin can be confessed.
Gratitude can grow.
Hope can be renewed.
This does not mean prayer is only psychological.
Prayer is not merely self-improvement.
It is real communion with God.
But because God is real, prayer changes the person who prays.
If I stand in sunlight, I am changed by the light.
If I sit near a fire, I am warmed.
If I spend time with a wise and holy person, I begin to be affected.
How much more when I turn towards God?
A soul that prays places itself before grace.
That matters.
Even when outward circumstances remain difficult, prayer is not wasted.
The heart may be strengthened.
The soul may be purified.
Faith may deepen.
Love may become more patient.
Hope may survive.
Sometimes the miracle is not that the storm stops.
Sometimes the miracle is that we do not drown.
5. Prayer can also change situations
We must not go too far the other way.
Prayer is not only about changing us.
God can answer prayer in visible ways.
The sick can be healed.
A hardened heart can soften.
A danger can be averted.
A door can open.
A sinner can repent.
A family can be reconciled.
A person can receive strength they did not have.
A parish can be renewed.
A soul can be converted.
Scripture is full of answered prayer.
The Church’s life is full of answered prayer.
Many Catholics can look back and say:
“God helped me.”
“God provided.”
“God opened the way.”
“God gave peace.”
“God brought someone home.”
“God answered, though not always as I expected.”
So we should pray boldly.
We should ask.
We should intercede.
We should pray for healing.
We should pray for conversions.
We should pray for our families.
We should pray for the sick and dying.
We should pray for the dead.
We should pray for the Church.
We should pray for peace.
We should pray for our enemies.
A Catholic should not be embarrassed to ask God for help.
Jesus tells us to ask.
The danger is not asking too much.
The danger is asking without trust, as though God were a machine.
God is Father.
A father may give what the child asks.
A father may also give something different.
A father may say yes.
A father may say not yet.
A father may say no because He sees more than the child sees.
But the child should still ask.
Because asking is part of trust.
6. What if prayer seems unanswered?
This is where many people struggle.
They prayed.
They asked.
They begged.
And the illness remained.
The person died.
The relationship broke.
The job was lost.
The anxiety did not disappear.
The grief continued.
What then?
We must be very careful here.
No one should say lightly:
“You did not have enough faith.”
That is often cruel and false.
Nor should we say:
“God did not care.”
That is false too.
The truth is that prayer is not always answered in the way we ask.
That is hard.
Jesus Himself, in His human agony, prayed that the cup might pass.
And yet He went to the Cross.
Saint Paul prayed for the thorn in the flesh to be removed.
And the answer he received was:
“My grace is sufficient for you.”
Sometimes God removes the suffering.
Sometimes He gives grace within the suffering.
Sometimes He heals now.
Sometimes He heals through death into eternal life.
Sometimes He changes the situation.
Sometimes He strengthens the soul.
Sometimes He answers quickly.
Sometimes He teaches us to wait.
Sometimes we see the meaning later.
Sometimes not in this life.
This is not an easy answer.
But it is true.
Prayer is not a contract by which we guarantee the outcome we choose.
Prayer is entrusting ourselves to the Father.
Even when we do not understand.
Especially when we do not understand.
So if someone says:
“I prayed and nothing happened,”
we must not argue coldly.
We might say:
“I am sorry. That is painful. God has not abandoned you. Sometimes prayer does not take away the Cross, but Christ stays with us in it.”
That is often the most honest answer.
7. God’s silence is not absence
Many people experience dryness in prayer.
They pray and feel nothing.
No warmth.
No peace.
No voice.
No obvious answer.
Just silence.
This can be frightening.
But silence is not always absence.
God may be working more deeply than feeling.
A seed grows silently.
A wound heals quietly.
A child grows while asleep.
The roots of a tree deepen unseen.
So too in prayer.
God can work beneath the surface.
There is also a kind of silence that purifies love.
At first, we may pray because it feels good.
Because we receive comfort.
Because we sense peace.
Those things are gifts.
But God may also teach us to love Him for Himself, not only for the consolations He gives.
This is not abandonment.
It can be purification.
The saints often experienced dryness.
Some of the holiest people felt darkness in prayer.
They continued to pray not because it was easy, but because God is God.
That is deep faith.
The prayer of dryness may be very simple:
“Lord, I am here.”
“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.”
“Lord, I feel nothing, but I trust You.”
“Lord, do not let me go.”
Such prayer may feel poor.
But it can be precious.
A person who prays in darkness is making an act of love.
Not because prayer is pleasant.
But because God is worthy.
8. Prayer includes lament
Some people think prayer must always sound calm, polite, and tidy.
But the Bible gives us the Psalms.
And the Psalms are full of lament.
“How long, O Lord?”
“Why do you hide your face?”
“Out of the depths I cry to you.”
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
These are prayers.
Not failures of prayer.
Real prayer can bring sorrow to God.
Real prayer can say:
“I am afraid.”
“I am angry.”
“I do not understand.”
“I feel abandoned.”
“I am tired.”
“Help me.”
God is not shocked by honest prayer.
He already knows the heart.
It is better to bring sorrow to God than to turn sorrow into bitterness away from God.
Lament is not unbelief.
Lament is wounded faith still speaking.
This matters pastorally.
A grieving person may not be ready for long theological explanations.
But they may be able to say:
“Lord, I am broken.”
That is prayer.
A suffering person may not be able to say much.
But they may be able to hold a crucifix.
That is prayer.
A dying person may not be able to form many words.
But they may be able to whisper:
“Jesus.”
That is prayer.
Prayer is not always eloquent.
Sometimes it is a groan.
And the Holy Spirit can pray within that groan.
9. Prayer and intercession
Catholics also believe in intercessory prayer.
We pray for one another.
We ask others to pray for us.
We pray for the sick.
We pray for sinners.
We pray for the dying.
We pray for the dead.
We ask Mary and the saints to pray for us.
This is not because God is reluctant and needs persuading by numbers.
It is because God has made us members of one Body.
Love prays.
A mother prays for her child.
A parish prays for the sick.
A friend prays for a friend.
The Church prays for the world.
The saints pray for us in heaven.
Intercession is charity.
It says:
“Your suffering matters to me.”
“Your salvation matters to me.”
“Your need is not yours alone.”
“I bring you before God.”
This is why bidding prayers at Mass are not filler.
They are part of the Church’s priestly prayer.
This is why we pray for names on the sick list.
This is why we ask for Masses to be offered.
This is why we pray for the faithful departed.
This is why we ask Our Lady to pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Prayer binds the Church together in charity.
It reminds us that no one is saved alone.
We belong to Christ together.
10. The Mass is the highest prayer
All prayer matters.
Private prayer.
Family prayer.
The Rosary.
The Divine Office.
Silent prayer.
Spontaneous prayer.
The Stations of the Cross.
A simple cry for help.
But the highest prayer of the Church is the Mass.
At Mass, we are joined to the prayer and sacrifice of Christ Himself.
The Mass is not only our prayer to God.
It is Christ’s prayer to the Father, into which we are drawn.
This is why Catholics offer Mass for the living and the dead.
For the sick.
For thanksgiving.
For forgiveness.
For the faithful departed.
For special intentions.
Not because we think God needs reminding.
But because the Mass makes present the one sacrifice of Christ.
There is no greater prayer.
This should change how we come to Mass.
We are not spectators.
We are not an audience.
We are not simply attending a religious talk.
We are being drawn into the worship of Christ.
We bring our lives to the altar.
Our joys.
Our griefs.
Our sins.
Our needs.
Our families.
Our dead.
Our work.
Our worries.
Our thanksgiving.
And all of this is united to Christ’s offering to the Father.
That is why Sunday Mass is the heart of Catholic prayer.
A Catholic who wants to learn to pray must not separate prayer from the Mass.
The Mass teaches us prayer.
It teaches listening.
Thanksgiving.
Repentance.
Intercession.
Offering.
Communion.
Silence.
Adoration.
The whole Christian life is gathered there.
11. How to pray when you do not know how
Many people feel embarrassed because they do not know how to pray.
They think they need special words.
Or strong feelings.
Or deep concentration.
Or perfect holiness.
But prayer can begin simply.
Start where you are.
Not where you think you should be.
A simple way is this:
First, place yourself before God.
“Lord, I am here.”
Second, speak honestly.
“Lord, this is what is in my heart.”
Third, ask for what you need.
“Lord, help me.”
Fourth, listen.
Not always for a voice, but with openness.
Fifth, entrust yourself.
“Lord, Your will be done.”
A daily prayer need not begin long.
Five minutes faithfully is better than a grand plan abandoned after three days.
Morning prayer can be simple:
“Lord, I offer You this day.”
Night prayer can be simple:
“Lord, thank You. Forgive me. Keep me.”
In suffering:
“Jesus, be with me.”
In temptation:
“Lord, give me strength.”
In grief:
“Lord, hold me.”
In confusion:
“Holy Spirit, guide me.”
In sin:
“Lord, have mercy.”
In gratitude:
“Thank You, Father.”
The important thing is to begin.
Prayer grows by praying.
No one learns prayer only by reading about it.
We learn prayer by praying, failing, returning, and praying again.
12. How to answer this simply
So if someone asks:
“Why does prayer matter if God already knows everything?”
You might say:
“Prayer is not giving God information. It is relationship. God already knows our needs, but He wants us to bring our lives to Him in trust.”
If someone says:
“Does prayer work?”
You can say:
“Yes, but not like magic. God hears prayer. Sometimes He changes the situation; sometimes He changes us; sometimes He gives strength to carry the Cross.”
If someone says:
“Why did God not answer my prayer?”
You can say:
“That can be deeply painful. Prayer is not always answered in the way we ask, but God has not abandoned us. Christ remains with us, especially in suffering.”
If someone says:
“Why ask other people to pray?”
You can say:
“Because we are members of one Body in Christ. Intercession is charity. We carry one another before God.”
If someone says:
“I do not know how to pray,”
You can say:
“Begin simply. Speak to God honestly. Say, ‘Lord, I am here. Help me.’ That is already prayer.”
Simple answers are often best.
Prayer is not first a technique to master.
It is a relationship to enter.
13. What this asks of us
If prayer matters, then we must actually pray.
Not only talk about prayer.
Not only admire prayer.
Not only ask others to pray.
We must pray.
Daily.
Simply.
Honestly.
Faithfully.
We should bring God our joys and sorrows.
We should pray when we feel like it and when we do not.
We should pray for the living and the dead.
We should pray before decisions.
We should pray when tempted.
We should pray after sin.
We should pray in thanksgiving.
We should pray at Mass.
We should pray at home.
We should teach children to pray.
We should pray with the sick.
We should pray for those who have left the faith.
We should pray for enemies.
Each of us can ask:
Do I pray each day?
Do I speak honestly to God?
Do I listen?
Do I only pray when I want something?
Do I bring suffering to God, or do I carry it alone?
Do I pray for others?
Do I unite my prayer to the Mass?
Do I keep praying when God seems silent?
Prayer is not an optional decoration on Catholic life.
It is breath.
A Christian who does not pray is trying to live without breathing.
We may begin weakly.
We may be distracted.
We may be inconsistent.
But we must begin again.
God is not looking for impressive speeches.
He wants the heart.
Conclusion
So why does prayer matter?
Because God is real.
Because God is near.
Because we were made for communion with Him.
Because Jesus prayed.
Because prayer brings our lives into relationship with the Father.
Because prayer changes us.
Because God can truly answer prayer.
Because suffering needs somewhere to go.
Because the Church is one Body.
Because the Mass is the highest prayer.
Because without prayer, faith becomes an idea rather than a living relationship.
Prayer is not magic.
It is not informing God.
It is not controlling God.
It is not pretending life is easy.
Prayer is living before God in trust, honesty, love, and hope.
So we do not say:
“God already knows, so I need not pray.”
We say:
“God already knows, so I can trust Him with everything.”
We do not say:
“My prayer was not answered as I wished, so God has abandoned me.”
We say:
“Lord, stay with me in this Cross.”
We do not say:
“I do not know how to pray, so I cannot begin.”
We say:
“Lord, teach me to pray.”
To summarise, remember these three simple answers.
Why does prayer matter?
Because prayer is relationship with God.
Because Jesus prayed and draws us into His prayer.
Because prayer brings our whole life into the hands of the Father.
If you remember nothing else, remember this:
Prayer is not magic, and it is not informing God of what He does not know. Prayer is living before the Father, through the Son, in the Holy Spirit, with trust, honesty, and love.
Each of us should ask:
Do I live before God, or only think about Him?
Because faith without prayer becomes distant.
But prayer opens the heart to the living God.
Amen.
Q&A after Session 13
- Why pray if God already knows everything?
- Does prayer change God’s mind?
- Why are some prayers not answered as we ask?
- How should I pray when I am suffering?
- What does it mean when God seems silent?
- Why ask other people to pray for us?
- Why pray for the dead?
- How can I begin praying if I do not know what to say?
- Why is the Mass the highest prayer?
Closing prayer
Lord Jesus Christ,
teach us to pray.
When we are weak, give us trust.
When we are distracted, bring us back.
When we are suffering, keep us close to Your Cross.
When we are silent, pray within us by Your Holy Spirit.
Help us to bring our whole lives to the Father:
our joys, our fears, our sins, our hopes,
our living and our dead.
Make our prayer honest, faithful, humble, and full of love.
Amen.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
St. Mary's, St. John Bosco and St. Edward's 