Preparing to meet the merciful Christ
First Confession, also called First Reconciliation or the Sacrament of Penance, is an important beginning in a child’s Catholic life.
In this sacrament, Jesus Christ forgives sins committed after Baptism, restores and strengthens our friendship with him, reconciles us with his Church and gives us grace to begin again.
Preparation is not about frightening a child or teaching them to pass a test. It helps the child to:
- know that God loves them;
- understand right and wrong;
- recognise when they have freely chosen to sin;
- take responsibility for their choices;
- trust the mercy of Jesus;
- confess honestly;
- and learn how to return to Christ whenever they fall.
A child preparing for First Confession is preparing to meet the merciful Christ.
Jesus calls me back to his friendship.
That is the heart of First Confession.
Who is this pathway for?
This pathway is principally for a child who:
- has already been validly baptised;
- has reached the use of reason, normally from about seven years old;
- has not previously received sacramental Confession;
- and is preparing for First Holy Communion.
Children who have reached the use of reason should normally receive the Sacrament of Penance before First Holy Communion.
LEARN ABOUT FIRST HOLY COMMUNION
If your child has not been baptised
An unbaptised child aged seven or over follows the pathway for Christian Initiation. An unbaptised child does not make First Confession before Baptism because Baptism itself forgives original sin and every personal sin committed beforehand.
BAPTISM FOR CHILDREN AGED SEVEN AND OVER
If your child was baptised outside the Catholic Church
A child who has already received a valid Christian Baptism follows the pathway for Reception into Full Communion. This includes preparation for Confession and the other Sacraments the child still needs.
COMING INTO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, BAPTISED CHILDREN
If you are unsure about your child’s Baptism or the correct pathway, please speak with the parish priest before beginning.
What are parents asking for?
When parents ask for First Confession, they are asking for more than another stage on the way to First Holy Communion.
They are asking the Church to help their child begin a lifelong relationship with the mercy of God.
The child gradually learns:
- God loves me and calls me to friendship with him.
- Sin harms my friendship with God and other people.
- I can recognise when I have chosen what is wrong.
- I can be truly sorry.
- I can ask God for forgiveness.
- Jesus forgives me through the Sacrament of Penance.
- With his grace, I can repair harm and begin again.
Parents are asking the Church to help their child examine their conscience, confess their sins honestly, receive absolution and grow in repentance, forgiveness and holiness.
In asking for First Confession, you are asking that your child learn how to return to Christ whenever they fall.
Thinking about faith as a family?
Preparing a child for First Confession can sometimes lead parents to think again about their own faith.
Perhaps you were brought up Catholic but have not been to Mass for some time.
Perhaps you are unsure what you believe yourself.
Perhaps you want your child to know God’s forgiveness, but faith and Sunday Mass have not yet become part of your family’s ordinary life.
You are very welcome to begin.
First Confession belongs within a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and the life of his Church. If faith is new to your family, or you are beginning again after some time away, it can be helpful to explore faith for yourself before beginning formal sacramental preparation.
If you were baptised Catholic but have been away from the Church, you may also find Returning to the Faith helpful.
You are welcome to come to Sunday Mass and begin again gradually. Fr John will be happy to speak with you and help you find the right next step.
How preparation works
Preparation is personal, flexible and centred on the parish catechism.
1. Begin with a conversation
The first step is a conversation with the parish.
We will talk about the child, their Baptism, their experience of Sunday Mass, any preparation already received and how a parent or parish mentor will accompany them.
You do not need to have everything arranged before contacting us.
2. Work through the catechism
The child works through My First Confession Catechism with a parent or parish mentor.
The catechism provides the Catholic teaching. Parents and mentors do not need to invent lessons, prepare talks or find additional worksheets.
A parent remains involved throughout. If a mentor accompanies the family, the mentor supports the parents rather than replacing them. A parent or responsible adult remains present when a child meets a mentor.
3. Take part in Sunday Mass and Catholic life
Preparation belongs within the worshipping life of the Church.
Children learn the faith not only by reading a book, but by:
- coming to Sunday Mass with their family;
- hearing the Word of God;
- praying with the Church;
- seeing the Sacraments celebrated;
- learning to ask forgiveness;
- forgiving other people;
- practising charity;
- and becoming at home within the parish.
If your family has not been attending Mass regularly, you are warmly encouraged simply to begin.
4. Prepare practically
Before First Confession, the child becomes familiar with the simple order of the sacrament.
Practice should use invented examples. Parents and mentors must never ask the child to reveal real personal sins.
The child does not have to memorise every word perfectly. The priest will guide and help them.
5. Review readiness
There will be a simple pastoral review before First Confession.
This is not a public examination. Its purpose is to make sure that the child understands the sacrament according to their age and can approach it freely and without unnecessary fear.
The parish priest makes the final pastoral judgement about readiness.
6. Receive the sacrament and continue
First Confession is the beginning of a continuing Catholic practice, not a single event to complete before First Holy Communion.
Afterwards, preparation continues towards First Holy Communion and the child is encouraged to return regularly to Confession throughout life.
Preparation resources
My First Confession Catechism
This is the principal preparation book.
It contains twelve short conversations:
- God Made Me and Loves Me
- Jesus Saves Me from Sin
- Baptism and the Life of Grace
- God’s Commandments Teach Me to Love
- What Is Sin?
- God Calls Me to Conversion
- Jesus Gave Us the Sacrament of Penance
- Contrition and a Firm Purpose
- Examining My Conscience
- Making a Good Confession
- Absolution, Penance and a New Beginning
- Living as a Forgiven Child of God
The book also includes a child’s examination of conscience, a step-by-step guide to Confession, prayers to learn and use, practical guidance for the First Confession day, an optional summary catechism and a gentle final conversation to help parents and the parish recognise the child’s growing understanding.
There is also a simple mentor check-in for families receiving additional parish support.
These resources are intended to encourage understanding and confidence, not to become examinations or additional requirements.
DOWNLOAD MY FIRST CONFESSION CATECHISM
First Confession Activity and Conversation Companion
This practical companion is for parents, mentors and priests.
It is used alongside My First Confession Catechism. The catechism supplies the Catholic teaching, while the companion provides simple activities, demonstrations, invented examples, questions, prayer and practical rehearsal.
It contains one activity conversation for each of the twelve catechism lessons, together with:
- a small teaching kit using ordinary household objects;
- practical ways to explain temptation, accidents and deliberate choices;
- invented situations for discussing sin safely;
- a calm rehearsal of the order of Confession;
- readiness guidance;
- and clear confidentiality and safeguarding boundaries.
No lesson planning or specialist equipment is required.
DOWNLOAD THE FIRST CONFESSION ACTIVITY AND CONVERSATION COMPANION
First Confession App
The app contains the preparation material in a simple digital format, with questions to help the child remember what has been learnt.
The app is an additional help. It does not replace conversation with a parent or mentor, the printed catechism, Sunday Mass or prayer.
Short Parish Pathway Guide
This leaflet gives families a simple overview of the whole First Confession pathway.
DOWNLOAD THE FIRST CONFESSION PARISH PATHWAY GUIDE
How to use the catechism and companion
Our My First Confession Catechism contains twelve gentle conversations to help children understand sin, repentance and the mercy of Jesus Christ in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
The catechism is designed to be shared with a parent, carer or parish mentor. No teaching experience, lesson preparation or additional materials are needed. Everything required is included in the book.
Each conversation follows six simple steps:
- Begin together – Start with a familiar question or situation to help the child think about the subject.
- Read together – Read the teaching slowly, explaining anything the child finds difficult to understand.
- Talk and understand – Use the questions and suggested answers to explore what has been learnt. Encourage the child to answer in their own words.
- Remember – Learn one short catechism answer which expresses the central truth of the conversation.
- Pray together – Finish with a simple prayer, asking Jesus to help the child grow in faith, repentance and trust in His mercy.
- One small step – Choose a practical action to help the child live what has been learnt through prayer, good choices, forgiveness or everyday Catholic life.
There is no need to rush.
Around ten to fifteen minutes may be enough for one conversation. Some children will need longer, while others may benefit from shorter conversations spread over several days.
Children should be encouraged to ask questions and grow in understanding at their own pace.
The suggested answers help adults explain the Catholic faith correctly. They are not intended to turn preparation into an examination. A child does not need perfect wording or complicated theological explanations.
Using the Activity and Conversation Companion
The optional First Confession Activity and Conversation Companion follows the same twelve subjects and offers additional activities, demonstrations, discussion questions and practical examples.
Families may use it whenever extra help would be useful, but completing every activity is not necessary. The catechism itself contains everything needed for the twelve conversations.
When discussing sin, parents and mentors should always use invented examples. A child should never be asked to reveal the personal sins they intend to confess.
Preparing for the Sacrament
The catechism also includes a child’s examination of conscience, prayers, a step-by-step guide to Confession and practical guidance for the day itself.
Children should become familiar with making the Sign of the Cross, beginning their Confession, confessing their sins honestly, listening to the priest, making an Act of Contrition and receiving absolution.
The order of Confession can be practised using invented examples, but adults should never imitate sacramental absolution or ask children to disclose their actual sins.
If a child becomes nervous or forgets what to say, the priest will help.
Growing in faith, not completing a course
These twelve conversations are a guide to understanding and receiving the mercy of Jesus Christ. They are not a twelve-week course or a test to be passed.
Preparation also includes Sunday Mass, family prayer, learning to recognise right and wrong, and developing a genuine desire to turn away from sin.
The parish priest will discern readiness with the family, taking account of the child’s understanding, circumstances and individual needs.
The aim is not simply to finish a book. It is to help each child know that Jesus loves them, understand the forgiveness He offers, and approach Confession with honesty, trust and confidence in His mercy.
Learning about sin without fear
Children need to know what sin is, but they should be taught clearly and calmly.
Preparation helps the child distinguish between:
- temptation, feeling drawn towards something wrong;
- an accident, something that happens without being intended;
- a mistake, something done without sufficient understanding;
- and sin, knowingly and freely choosing what is wrong.
Temptation itself is not a sin. An accident is not a sin. Something done without freedom is not freely chosen sin.
Mortal and venial sin
Some sins are more serious than others.
A mortal sin destroys charity in the soul and deprives a person of sanctifying grace. All three of these conditions must be present:
- The matter is grave.
- The person knows that it is gravely wrong.
- The person freely and deliberately chooses it.
If one of these conditions is absent, the sin is not mortal.
Venial sin wounds our friendship with God but does not destroy the life of grace within us.
These distinctions should be taught accurately without making a child frightened, anxious or scrupulous. God knows the truth of the heart, including the child’s understanding, freedom and intention.
The purpose of Confession is not to make children hide from God. Christ calls sinners back, forgives them and gives them grace to begin again.
Examining our conscience
An examination of conscience means prayerfully considering our choices in the light of God’s commandments and the teaching of Jesus.
The child learns to:
- ask the Holy Spirit for light;
- think honestly about their choices;
- remember the sins they can genuinely recall;
- be sorry;
- and prepare to confess them simply.
The aim is honesty, not anxiety.
A child is not expected to have an impossible memory or to produce a long list of tiny faults. A sin honestly forgotten is forgiven with the other sins when the Confession is sincere.
The questions in an examination of conscience are helps. They are not a list of things the child is presumed to have done.
A child’s Confession is private
Parents and mentors help the child understand how to make a Confession. They must never ask the child to practise by revealing real sins.
Use invented examples for teaching and rehearsal.
A child should not be:
- asked publicly what they intend to confess;
- questioned afterwards about what they said;
- asked to write their sins for a parent or mentor to read;
- encouraged to compare their Confession with another child’s;
- or pressured to disclose private sins during preparation.
Personal sins are confessed privately to the priest within the sacrament.
Something done to a child without their free choice is not the child’s sin. If someone has hurt, threatened, frightened or behaved improperly towards a child, the child should tell a parent or another trusted safe adult so that they can be protected and helped.
If a safeguarding concern is disclosed outside Confession, normal parish and diocesan safeguarding procedures must be followed.
PARISH SAFEGUARDING INFORMATION
What happens in Confession?
The priest will guide the child. If the child forgets what comes next, they may simply say:
Father, this is my first Confession and I need some help.
The ordinary pattern is:
1. Prepare
The child examines their conscience, asks God for sorrow and prepares to speak honestly.
2. Begin
The child makes the Sign of the Cross and may say:
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first Confession.
3. Confess
The child tells their sins simply and honestly.
They may finish by saying:
For these and all my sins, I am truly sorry.
4. Listen
The priest may offer some advice and gives the child a penance. The child should ask if they do not understand.
5. Pray
The child makes an Act of Contrition.
6. Receive absolution
The priest pronounces the words of absolution through which Christ sacramentally forgives sins.
The child listens, makes the Sign of the Cross and answers:
Amen.
7. Give thanks
Afterwards, the child completes the penance and thanks God for his mercy.
An Act of Contrition
Children preparing for First Confession in our parish learn this simple prayer:
O my God, because you are so good,
I am very sorry that I have sinned against you,
and by the help of your grace
I will not sin again. Amen.
The aim is not simply to repeat the words from memory. The child should gradually understand that this prayer expresses genuine sorrow for sin, love of God and a sincere intention to change with the help of His grace.
A firm purpose of amendment does not mean promising that we will never make another mistake. It means truly intending to turn away from sin and avoid the things that lead us into it.
If a child forgets the words during Confession, the priest will gladly help.intending to avoid sin and its near occasions, relying upon God’s grace.
When is a child ready?
Readiness does not require perfect memory or advanced theological language.
According to their age and ability, the child should gradually understand that:
- God loves them and calls them to friendship with him;
- Jesus died and rose again to save us from sin;
- sin is a knowingly and freely chosen offence against God;
- temptation, mistakes and accidents are not the same as deliberate sin;
- Jesus gave his Church the Sacrament of Penance;
- Catholics confess their sins to a priest;
- Christ acts and forgives through the priest;
- we should be sorry and sincerely intend to change;
- an examination of conscience helps us prepare;
- and Confession includes confessing sins, accepting a penance, making an Act of Contrition and receiving absolution.
The child should also be able to follow the simple order of the sacrament, or confidently ask the priest for help.
No child should be shamed, compared with another child or pressured to receive the sacrament.
After First Confession
First Confession should not be the only Confession of a person’s life.
Afterwards, the child should be helped to continue through:
- Sunday Mass;
- preparation for First Holy Communion;
- regular Confession;
- daily prayer;
- a simple examination of conscience;
- asking forgiveness;
- forgiving others;
- repairing harm where reasonably possible;
- and growing in charity.
The goal is not a child who never makes a mistake.
The goal is a child who knows that when they fall, Jesus calls them back to his friendship.
LEARN MORE ABOUT PENANCE, CONFESSION AND RECONCILIATION
Ready to begin?
If your child is ready to begin preparation for First Confession, please contact the parish.
The first step is simply a conversation.
We will provide My First Confession Catechism, explain how the preparation works and arrange whether the child will be accompanied principally by a parent or with the support of a parish mentor.
First Confession may take place at St Mary’s, St John Bosco or St Edward’s.
Contact: Fr John Owens
Email: john.owens@dioceseofnottingham.uk
God loves me.
Jesus calls me back.
In Confession, Christ forgives me and gives me grace to begin again.
