Preparing to meet the merciful Christ
First Confession — also called First Reconciliation or the Sacrament of Penance — is an important step in a child’s Christian life.
In this sacrament, Jesus Christ forgives sins committed after Baptism, restores and strengthens our friendship with him, reconciles us with his Church and gives us grace to begin again.
Preparation is therefore not about making a child frightened of sin or teaching them to pass a test.
It is about helping them to know God’s love, recognise right and wrong, take responsibility for their choices, trust Christ’s mercy and learn how to return to him when they have sinned.
A child preparing for First Confession is preparing to meet the merciful Christ.
First Confession and First Holy Communion
Children who have reached the use of reason should receive the Sacrament of Penance before First Holy Communion.
For this reason, First Confession preparation normally comes before or forms the first part of the child’s preparation for First Holy Communion.
The two sacraments belong together in the Christian life.
In Confession, Christ forgives and restores us.
In the Holy Eucharist, Christ gives us himself as the food of eternal life.
Preparing for First Confession
Preparation in our parish is simple, personal and catechism-led.
We use:
My First Confession Catechism
Jesus calls me back to his friendship
The catechism is designed especially for children preparing for their first sacramental Confession, typically around the age of seven to nine, while allowing for the understanding and circumstances of each individual child.
It contains twelve short conversations:
- God Made Me and Loves Me
- Jesus Saves Me from Sin
- Baptism and the Life of Grace
- God’s Commandments Teach Me to Love
- What Is Sin?
- God Calls Me to Conversion
- Jesus Gave Us the Sacrament of Penance
- Contrition and a Firm Purpose
- Examining My Conscience
- Making a Good Confession
- Absolution, Penance and a New Beginning
- Living as a Forgiven Child of God
The book also contains a child’s examination of conscience, a step-by-step guide to First Confession, the prayers a child needs, a summary catechism and a readiness guide.
DOWNLOAD MY FIRST CONFESSION CATECHISM
How preparation works
The catechism contains the teaching needed for each conversation.
The catechism is the lesson.
There are no separate worksheets, projects or complicated lessons for parents to prepare.
A normal conversation takes about 12–20 minutes and can usually take place after Sunday Mass or at another convenient time.
The child works through the catechism with a parent, parish catechist or suitable mentor.
Each conversation follows a simple pattern:
REMEMBER → SHORT TEACHING → TALK ABOUT IT → THE ESSENTIALS → PRAYER → THIS WEEK
The child should first be encouraged to answer questions in their own words. The short catechism answer can then help make the essential Catholic teaching clear.
One conversation at a time is enough.
If something needs more explanation, stay with it.
Understanding matters more than keeping to a calendar.
Sunday Mass comes first
Sacramental preparation belongs within the worshipping life of the Church.
The ordinary foundation for First Confession and First Holy Communion preparation is therefore Sunday Mass.
Children learn the Catholic faith not only from a book, but by seeing it lived: praying with their family, hearing the Word of God, worshipping with the Church, asking forgiveness, practising charity and gradually becoming at home in the parish.
If your family has not been attending Mass regularly, you are warmly encouraged simply to begin again.
Learning about sin without fear
Children need to understand what sin is, but they should be taught clearly and calmly.
Preparation helps a child distinguish between:
a temptation · an accident or mistake · and a sin freely chosen
A child also learns that some sins are more serious than others and that mortal sin has particular conditions.
This should be taught accurately without creating unnecessary anxiety or scrupulosity.
God does not want children to become frightened of him.
The whole purpose of Confession is that when we have sinned, we do not need to hide from God. Christ calls us back, forgives us and gives us grace to begin again.
Examining our conscience
Before Confession, the child learns to make a simple examination of conscience.
This means prayerfully thinking about our choices in the light of God’s commandments and the teaching of Jesus.
The aim is honesty, not anxiety.
The child asks the Holy Spirit for light, remembers the sins they can genuinely recall and prepares to speak about them simply in Confession.
They are not expected to remember the impossible or produce a long list of tiny faults.
The catechism teaches:
Be honest, not afraid.
Its examination of conscience also makes clear that something done to a child without their free choice is not the child’s sin. If someone has harmed, threatened or frightened a child, they should tell a trusted safe adult so that they can be protected and helped.
A child’s Confession is private
Parents and catechists help the child understand how to make a Confession.
They should never ask the child to practise by revealing real personal sins.
Practice examples should be invented.
A child should not be asked publicly what they intend to confess, questioned afterwards about what was said in Confession, or encouraged to compare their Confession with another child’s.
Personal sins belong in sacramental Confession with the priest.
When is a child ready?
There is no need for perfect theological language.
According to their age and capacity, the child should normally be able to understand that:
- God loves them and calls them to friendship with him;
- sin is a freely chosen offence against God and his law;
- temptation, mistakes and accidents are not the same thing as deliberately choosing what is wrong;
- Jesus gave the Church the Sacrament of Penance for the forgiveness of sins committed after Baptism;
- Catholics confess their sins to a priest;
- we should be sorry for our sins and sincerely intend to turn away from them;
- an examination of conscience helps us prepare;
- and Confession involves confessing our sins, receiving a penance, making an Act of Contrition and receiving absolution.
The child should be able to make a simple examination of conscience and understand the ordinary sequence of the sacrament.
The parish priest makes the final pastoral judgement about readiness.
What happens at First Confession?
The priest will guide the child.
There is no need to memorise every word perfectly.
The simple pattern is:
Prepare
The child examines their conscience, asks God for sorrow and prepares to speak honestly.
Begin
The child makes the Sign of the Cross and may say:
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first Confession.”
Confess
The child tells their sins simply and honestly.
They may finish:
“For these and all my sins, I am truly sorry.”
Listen
The priest may offer some advice and gives a penance.
Pray
The child makes an Act of Contrition.
Receive absolution
The priest pronounces the words of absolution through which Christ sacramentally forgives the sins confessed.
Give thanks
Afterwards, the child completes their penance and thanks God for his mercy.
An Act of Contrition
Children preparing in our parish learn this simple Act of Contrition:
“O my God,
I am very sorry that I have sinned against you,
and by the help of your grace
I will not sin again. Amen.“
The aim is not merely to recite words from memory, but gradually to understand what they mean: sorrow for sin, trust in God’s mercy and a sincere intention to change.
After First Confession
First Confession is not meant to be the only Confession of a person’s life.
Children should gradually learn that the Sacrament of Penance is an ordinary and joyful part of Catholic life.
After First Confession, they should be encouraged to:
come to Sunday Mass · prepare for First Holy Communion · pray daily · examine their conscience simply · ask forgiveness when they do wrong · forgive others · and return regularly to Confession
The final lesson of the catechism is deliberately called Living as a Forgiven Child of God.
The goal is not a child who never makes a mistake.
It is a child who gradually learns that when they fall, Jesus calls them back to his friendship.
For parents
Parents have an important part in preparation.
You do not need to be a trained catechist or know every answer.
Help your child by coming to Sunday Mass, praying together, working through the short catechism conversations, talking naturally about right and wrong, modelling apology and forgiveness, and showing that Confession is something Catholics value rather than fear.
If your own experience of Confession has been difficult or it has been a long time since you received the sacrament yourself, you are very welcome to speak with the priest.
Your child’s preparation may also be an opportunity for the whole family to rediscover the mercy of God.
PENANCE, CONFESSION & RECONCILIATION
Ready to begin?
If your child is ready to begin preparation for First Confession, please contact the parish.
The first step is a simple conversation.
We will provide My First Confession Catechism, explain how to use it and accompany your child towards the sacrament.
After First Confession, preparation continues towards First Holy Communion.
Where: St Mary’s, St John Bosco or St Edward’s
Contact: Fr John — john.owens@dioceseofnottingham.uk
Jesus calls me back to his friendship.“
That is the heart of First Confession.
St. Mary's, St. John Bosco and St. Edward's 